#i should follow my own advice lol

[infintyonhigh]

Another bandom poll successfully blocked 👍

[whysamwhy123]

Might just scrap all my shitty unfinished fics and peace out of this fandom for good tbh.

[wtfaniii]

I can do it alone, but he can also save me

Fem reader x Hwang In-ho / Fem reader x Hwang Jun-ho

Part 1 Part 2

"Jun-ho's girlfriend was a decorated policegirl, strong and brave, she, along with Gi-hun were taken to the games to stop them, however, there was a setback in between"

Note: Thank you for welcoming me so well on this platform! I'm still learning how to use it, sorry, Wattpad is my thing LOL But I'm understanding it more now

Warning: Maybe some drama? Some violence and discreet flirting

The reader doesn't know who is In-ho, Jun-ho refused to talk about his past with her, so she is engrossed in the true identity of this handsome man.

Well, the plan hadn't worked out the way they wanted.

They had taken away their trackers and any object, even the smallest, that they could use to defend themselves.

—Now what do we do... —Gi-hun muttered more to himself but audible to the girl in front him.

—I think the best thing to do now would be not to die —she answered seriously, the vows had been made and unfortunately, despite Gi-hun's attempts to persuade the players to withdraw, staying had been the final decision —For now we must eat if we want to win the next game —She added holding out in front of him the food the guards were giving them, but he refused to take it, he looked so lost in his own mind that she had no choice but to sigh and sit down next to him.

—Come on, open your mouth, belly full and heart happy —Jung-bae, Gi-hun's friend sitting on his right side, spoke while holding a spoon with the egg in front of his face.

—Last time I was here, many innocent people died —Gi-hun said, looking at his friend seriously. He wanted to convince him that everything he said was true and that they should leave there as soon as possible.

—Help us then.

There was a third voice that caught the girl's attention, it was number 001, the one who had the decisive vote and preferred to stay, whoever had the blue circle was a suicidal person from her perspective.

The rest of the players surrounded them waiting for some advice or positive words from the previous winner.

The girl just listened attentively to each of them, but the most interested was 001. He asked him more concise questions and spoke confidently, as if these games were not very different from the ones they played at recess when they were little.

Something that seemed curious to her.

He felt her gaze so turned it towards her so he could look the police in the eye.

Of course he had investigated her, from the moment she searched for her boyfriend on land and sea, he wouldn't say it out loud but his brother was lucky because if it hadn't been for her him would be dead under water.

Her eyes looked at him with caution and analysis, like a cat looking at a dog with distrust but ready to scratch if the situation arose.

He found it interesting.

After the rest of the players left, 001 stayed with them to continue talking until the conversation increased in tension, Gi-hun complained to him, if he hadn't voted for the circle they would have left there.

—Fine, let's stop this conversation now, there's no point in blaming each other —Jung-bae said to avoid any upcoming fight.

—That's right, now what we have to do is be prepared for the next game —She said —We have a bit of an advantage —added, looking at Gi-hun.

—I would like to join too —said number 388 jumping out of his bed.

He introduced himself as Dae-ho and the conversation changed from the winning player to the navy and the fact that both he and Jung-bae had been members.

It seemed like they would get along well and be a good team, however, the atmosphere became tense again when the purple-haired boy with the number 230 threw player 333 to the ground, being followed by 124, who kicked him in the face.

—¿Shouldn't we tell them to stop? — Jung-bae asked.

—Yes...

Seeing that neither of the two men was going to intervene, the girl stood up and walked towards them.

—That's enough, two against one isn't fair.

—You better stay out of this —Thanos pointed at her angrily, but after looking at her closely, he let out a laugh and clapped his hands, which echoed throughout the room and caught everyone's attention —I know you, you... policegirl, you arrested me a month ago.

Now she remembered it too, of course, that snobby rapper who tried to bribe her after she caught him buying and transporting drugs but she decided to ignore him and walked to 333 to shake his hand. —Get up

Before he could accept her kind gesture, Thanos pushed her back failing to knock down.

—This is not your playground, policegirl, I can do whatever the fuck I want here.

She remained silent, still with head held high, she was not afraid of him at all, she could easily defeat him but did not have time to do or say anything when 001 intervened.

—That's no way to talk to a lady.

She could defend herself, she didn't need any man to speak for her, however, that sentence seemed quite chivalrous, Jun-ho also intervened for her from time to time and that was a gesture that inevitably made her smile.

A smile that In-ho noticed.

—Is she your girlfriend? Or do you just fuck her? —As soon as he finished the word, In-ho already had him firmly held by the hair.

124 ran towards them with the intention of helping the purple-haired boy but in the blink of an eye he was already on the ground, the girl had knocked down with a kick.

With just three blows, In-ho subdued Thanos and pinned to the ground.

She silently analyzed him again, those movements were too precise to be from someone without experience, he could have been part of the police or even the navy.

They were congratulated with applause when the 230 began to gasp for air and forgiveness. As returned to their place, they both formally introduced themselves by giving respective names, a sign of trust.

Once again In-ho confirmed what thought, she was a respectable and valuable woman, one he would like to challenge more than should have for having gotten into these games.

N/A: I wanted to make a fic with a theme like that HAHA

[keferon]

Hear me out: Decepticon Prowl just sat there in a meeting with Megatron, Soundwave, and unfortunately Starscream like "Well, surely we should hit them at this border since yada yada actual technical stuff" and Megatron's about to go on an ego rant so Prowl is like "My liege, didn't you say xyz? Yes? Well, the best way would surely be to-" and then he basically just has to manipulate Megatron into actually following his advice by making him think that all of his (Prowl's) ideas are actually his (Megatron's) own.

Also, I totally agree with Prowl and Soundwave being like good coworkers, they are some of the only competent bot in the damn decepticons they would so go well together

Oh Soundwave and Prowl would constantly hang out together they’d be such a great duo

Two intellectuals stuck with the pile of murderous morons haha

Prowl would manipulate the shit out of Megatron’s brain. He would make it look like everything was Megatron’s idea from the very start. Autobots wouldn’t even know Decepticons have a tactician because all the credit would go to Megatron.

Soundwave would easily see all the manipulations but wouldn’t say anything because Prowl’s goal is to help Decepticons win. And Soundwave very much wants them to win lol

[togrowoldinv]

Secret Santa

Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

When Natasha gets your name for Secret Santa, she tries to think of the perfect gift for you

Note: I’m back! Well, technically I never left but I’ve been up to my ears in studying for the cpa exam. I took what was hopefully my last exam today, and let Natasha come back into my brain lol. Enjoy this holiday fluff!

Natasha Masterlist 1, Natasha Masterlist 2, Natasha Masterlist 3, Main Masterlist

“Okay, on to the topic of the Christmas party. What if do Secret Santa names this year?” Tony suggests.

“What does that entail?” Steve asks what everyone else is thinking.

“Well, we’d all write down a few things we like. It gives the person who gets your name an idea of what you want,” Tony explains.

“I like it,” Steve agrees. “What does everyone think?”

A chorus of sures and okays follow.

“Y/n, can you take care of it?” Steve asks.

You agree easily. You’ve always loved the holidays so the idea of helping the Avengers have a good one is exciting. Especially since it’s your first year with the team.

You get everyone’s names on notecards and spend the rest of the day getting everyone to fill them out with gift ideas. Wanda helps you collect them from the team before the next team meeting the next morning.

“Okay, everyone I have all of the names here. Draw one and whatever you get is what you have. No switching allowed,” you tell the team, mainly Tony.

You eyeball him as you say it and he at least pretends to look offended before he grins.

When you get to Natasha, you smile at her shyly.

“What if I get my own name?” She asks with a smirk.

She reaches into the bowl of names before you can answer. Her expression is unreadable as she looks at the card.

“Good?” You ask.

“It’s good,” Natasha replies.

You move on and keep going until everyone’s been picked. You got Wanda, which should be super easy.

On the other hand, Natasha got you. She thinks about it for a few days before deciding that she doesn’t want to get you anything on your list. She decides to go to your best friend on the team for advice.

“You got a second?” Natasha asks, knocking on Wanda’s open doorframe.

“Oh,” the girl is caught off guard. She doesn’t spend much time talking to Nat aside from about missions. “Sure.”

Natasha walks in and closes the door behind her. She sits down at Wanda’s desk across from where the girl sits on her bed.

“Is everything okay?” Wanda asks.

Natasha doesn’t immediately assure her it is and she gets worried. “So, I got y/n for secret santa.”

Wanda’s tenseness goes away and she can’t help a little smirk forming as Nat is talking.

“And I know she has things on this list,” she says. “But I don’t think a single one of these things is good enough for her. I don’t know what I should get for her, but she deserves the best gift.”

“Natasha,” Wanda interjects. “You’re taking this way too seriously.”

“Oh,” Nat expresses. “She- well she loves Christmas, right? I saw how excited she’s been about the tree and then the secret Santa and the movies. All of it. I want it to be special for her.”

“That’s really sweet,” Wanda says. “You like her, huh.”

“Can you help me?” Natasha keeps the focus on the conversation at hand. She does like you though.

“Of course. Anything for y/n.”

“Thank you,” Natasha says, feeling the relief set in.

The two brainstorm ideas for a couple of hours. When Wanda shows late for your usual nightly dinner, she wears a grin.

“What?” You ask her. “Fun with Vision?”

Wanda chuckles and you share a laugh with her.

“Who’d you get for Secret Santa?” You ask her.

“I can’t tell you,” she says.

“Sure you can.”

“Who’d you get?” She counters.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Sure you can,” she mocks you.

The rest of the days leading up to Christmas go by fast. Unfortunately everyone had to go on a mission on Christmas Eve, so you’re all exhausted on Christmas Day morning.

Tony postponed the gift exchange until later in the day, and everyone is much more rested by then.

Even with the hustle and bustle, you notice Natasha hasn’t made it to the get together yet.

“Hey Clint, where’s Nat?” You ask the archer. He was working closely with her on the mission.

“I think she just needed to take some time alone.”

“Oh, okay.”

You go about the party for a few more minutes before deciding to go check on Natasha.

You go to her room and knock on the door. She takes a minute to answer, but finally the door opens to reveal a distressed Natasha.

Her hair is messy and she’s wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. You haven’t seen her this way before.

“Hey,” you say. “We missed you down there.”

“Sorry,” she says. “Uh, come in.”

Her room is clean and exactly like you expected it. There are a few photos of Natasha and Clint’s family on a dresser, but that’s really the extent of the decor.

“Are you okay?” You ask her.

“Yeah, just a bad mission.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Nat says. “It’s a me problem.”

“Hey, we’re teammates. And- we’re friends. It’s an us problem.”

Natasha can’t help but smile a little at that. You make her feel better by just being here.

“I don’t think I’m in the party mood. The guys aren’t so sensitive to my feelings.”

“Hey, that’s alright. I’ll just take your gift if you want me to. I’ll make sure it gets to the right person,” you explain.

“Oh, actually I had you. And I didn’t get a gift off of your list.”

Your eyes go wide. You didn’t even consider that Nat would get you. Thinking back to your list, you hope she didn’t find anything you wrote down as lame.

“Not because they were bad ideas. It’s just- I wanted to do something more meaningful,” she reads your mind.

Natasha crosses the room and grabs a box out of her closet. It’s wrapped nicely.

“You wrapped that?” You ask.

“You seem surprised,” Nat jokes. “I have skills.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” you say before blushing a bit. She smirks.

She hands you the box and you sit down on the edge of her bed together to open it. Nat watches you shyly as you open the gift.

“Natasha,” you whisper as you reveal the gift.

It’s a beautiful locket necklace.

“Open it,” she says.

On the inside of the locket, there’s a photo of your family. Your favorite photo to be exact.

“How did you-“

“Wanda helped,” Nat says. “I know you’ve been missing home since you joined the Avengers. I thought you’d want to have a piece of them with you on missions.”

“Natasha, that’s- well that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” you say, fighting back tears.

“You like it then?”

“I love it. Thank you,” you say sincerely. “Will you put it on me?”

Nat nods and takes the necklace from your hands. She unclasps it and stands behind you to put it around your neck. Her hands are gentle as she clasps the necklace and brushes against your skin.

“Beautiful,” she says when you stand and face her.

“You are, yeah,” you surprise her by saying. You dare to reach out for her hand. She takes it easily and interlocks your fingers. “I wish I got you something.”

“Oh, I think you just gave me the best gift,” Natasha says.

“I did?”

“Mhm,” she confirms. “Come here.”

Natasha leans in, pulling you closer to her with the hand that’s free by the back of your neck. Her gentle hand from before has a bit more urgency.

You can’t help but smile as she kisses your lips. Finally, both of you think. Finally.

“Merry Christmas, y/n,” Natasha says when she breaks for air.

“Merry Christmas, Natasha.”

It doesn’t take long before you add a photo of Natasha to the other side of your locket. She’s with you always. Right beside your heart.

[parisoonic]

How the hell do you manage to superimpose the hilariously exagerated proportions of the tf2 mercs into a cohesive 2d style? I always struggle SO much with like, the way the mercs' models have huge hands, the way they have relatively low-poly definition on things like arms, shoulders, and legs... and Especially the way like, the models are kinda janky when you pose them for art purposes- when using movement tools, things like armpits and seams between body parts get all deformed... Which makes the study of form and silhouette rather difficult.

I assume that a lot of your ability to translate the concept of the mercs from their original mediums into your own works of art comes to you quite naturally- through experience you have with drawing and art style stuff, as well as through intuition. I was simply wondering if I could poke at your mind and get some insight into your process, any thoughts you have about the proportions and silhouettes of the mercs, any quirks you've found while drawing the mercs, or simply what you enjoy drawing about them. Like, don't be afraid to infodump about something just because you think people wouldn't find it interesting- I am here, I am sitting, and I am listening- if you so choose to speak.

I am utterly fascinated and enraptured by the more behind-the-scenes aspect of art. The mundane things that come second nature to great artists yet seem so revolutionary to less experienced artists.

I love your work, I look forward to seeing more of it, and I hope you have a nice day :]

Sorry for the late reply! I've been a little…stuck on how to answer this but that's mainly because to me, drawing is composed of SO many different little skills - you have form, anatomy, shape language, silhouette, appeal, rhythm, acting and posing…not to mention everything AFTER your raw draughtmanship like line style, rendering and colour theory. Trying to distill a multiude of small skills into some pithy advice is overwhelming to my brain. So I'll take the invitation to ramble instead :))

I don't think I have any new or revolutionary insight into the tf2 guys specifically - more I'm using them as work horses to excercise general silhouette/posing/shape-language and further my skills when it comes to drawing characters!

I do agree though the proportions are rather silly when you stop and think about them realistically…they can be kinda tricky if you follow their 'actual' proportions. what looks great individually was maybe never meant to be directly compared (ie: Heavy's hand size against Spy's lol). It would've been funny if the TV show exsisted and we had more content to review…would the animators have had rules like Spy and Heavy can never shake hands? Would they cheated the proportions for shots? Or would they have said WHATVER it's gonna look weird and embraced it? (Like Kingpin in Spiderverse lol)

Paul Lasaine for 'Into the Spiderverse' This is AWESOME. But it's also one of the silliest designs I've ever seen comitted to screen. The varied scales of the characters work because of the unifying treatment (lighting, rendering, consistant hand anatomy, consistant clothing fold treatment etc) and because they are sort of proportional within themselves. A common mantra is that hands should be about as large as a characters face....which they all are here!

Human brains are very flexible and forgiving though. It's totally fine for you to put a character with huge hands and head next to a teeny tiny character! Vanellope and Ralph from Wreck-It Ralph look grand next to each other! And in that film you even have varying levels of stylisation sitting against each other (unified by the look dev treatment of the shaders and lighting). I think as long as the chracter is proportional within themselves it sort of works out. IE: a general rule is that a hand should be as large as the face so…you can have some large arse hands as long as their placed on a body with a big arse head. Unifying characters with the same treatment (ie: lineart brush, colouring style will also help them look cohesive next to each other :) )

I don't actually reference the 3D models/animations very much at all and instead draw their proportions based on my tastes for stylisation following their general vibes/silhouette profiles. I don't stick THAT close to their in-game looks and there are artists who do that are so so so much better than me (Creedei and Flapjack come to mind). I'm not amazing at body-type differentation and TBH they're all wearing chunky clothes all the time so I usually draw the guys as one-of-three body shapes: Heavy is the uniquely wide guy; Sniper/Scout/Spy are all tall and slim and Demo/Soldier/Medic/Engie have a little more of the generic 'hero' bodytype with varying tallness and broadness of the shoulders

Something like this! You can vary all these individual elements in terms of size, thickness, taper amount etc to create different characters. If you ARE going to reference the 3d works though you'll need to apply some anatomy knowledge to overcome the weird shoulders, armpits and knees which desperately need blendshapes to correct the 3D volumes and approach it a little more like an animation supervisor. There's a reason why you see in making-ofs and art-ofs character designers, character leads or animation supes doing drawovers of the models. These are character models that have had great effort put into their 'base' silhouette but it still needs to be reinforced in every frame for maximum appeal.

Shiyoon Kim for 'Raya' This sort of thing will occur at multiple stages during the animation process. Shiyoon Kim's notes are post final model but pre-animation. Most likely for internal rig tests, exploring what blend shapes and alt shapes are needed for the rigs etc. If your production has time, this will continue all the way to final anim. IF! But it's interesting to see how he emphasises the shapes and enhances the character acting of the 3d model.

As for 'mundane things' - I wouldn't say they're second nature! (If that makes you feel better!) I have to actively really persue certain advice and try to figure out how to best apply it. This can sometimes involve redrawing and redrawing an element of the drawing until I've grasped the nettle of whatever I'm after or…..until I get frustrated and either delete the drawing or just call it done lol

Here, I'm looking for a really specific flow of the head that sells both the acting and a subtle head tilt. I'm also trying to apply the general mantra regarding faces that converging lines (set by the eyebrows and mouth) are more appealing than parallel. It's tough! I also tend to use a drawing I've already done as a template/reference on the page too. Oh! This page is an amazing example of why I'm not an animator or storyboarder…consistancy? Who is she? 💅

Converging lines (that form tapered shapes) are always more appealing than parallel. Using this logic you can loft the facial features across converging lines to create dynamic appealing espressions. Combining this with anatomy, perspective and rotation is the tough part though. I'm still learning o7

The things I probably think about MOST are always flats vs curves, simple vs complex and general line of action/flow...and then eliminting tangents. Each of these can be a dedicated visual-essay on their own - hence my stumbling as to answer your question. Anyhow, not sure if it's ever come up on this blog but I looove dinosaurs :)) so i'm using a wee piece to demostrate these ideas! (but also to demostrate these concepts apply to everything from humans characters to animals, props and background design)

Okay, I'm getting self-aware that this is getting really long :') I have a wee tutorial tag for my blog if anyone wants to comb through my garbled art-thoughts. Learning, studying, repetition and practice will always be the greatest teachers! I'm glad you like my art- thank you so much for the lovely comments - I feel like such a noob still and not qualified to give people advice but we're in it together learning! High-five! 🙌

[fayes-fics]

Textual Encounter

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: Text fic. Wrong number meet-cute over text.

Warnings: none... this is fluff and humour.

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Fic request fill for Anon (HERE). I kept it fun and fluffy, but yeah, I can see a sequel where they sext. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy! <3

Y/N: Hey Liz, it’s y/n y/l/n. Kindle Spa gave me your mobile. Said you had moved to another salon. I don’t trust anyone else to wax me tbh. Big date this week, kwim 😉 Can I get an appt? I’ll come to you. Doesn’t matter where. 

BB: Errr, I think you have the wrong number…

Y/N: Not Liz?

BB: Nope, Ben here. 

Y/N: Not a waxer, I presume?

BB: I may have waxed lyrical in my time, may even have lit a few candles. Have not waxed anyone no - my own body or anyone else’s. Yet. But I’m game to try anything once...

Y/N: Lol.

BB: Big date, eh?

Y/N: ….Yeah. Not that it's any of your business, stranger Ben.

BB: Fair. BB: Does it hurt?

Y/N: ??

BB: Getting waxed.

Y/N: Oh. Yeah. Like a motherfucker. But you sorta get used to it, tbh. And it’s so much less itchy than shaving regrowth, especially in sensitive areas… Wait, why am I having this convo with a complete stranger?!

BB: We don’t have to be strangers. BB: I’m Ben, 33, London. BB: I have no strong opinions on hair removal methods.

Y/N: lol. K. I’m y/n, 28, also London. Y/N: I, as you can see, do have some opinions.

BB: Hi y/n 👋 BB: I hope you can find Liz. Or someone else to assist with your hair needs.

Y/N: I would like it stated, for the record, I’m not hairy like a troll. I just like to keep things neat.

BB: The lady doth protest too much…

Y/N: You are cheeky for a stranger.

BB: Hey, I thought we agreed. Not strangers. Me Ben. You hairy troll.

Y/N: BLOCK.

BB: Just typing it doesn't work, you know.

Y/N: You should work at the Apple Genius Bar.

BB: Hmm, possibly. I do look good in blue. Or so I've been told.

Y/N: Always glad to provide career counselling.

BB: 🫡

4 days later.

BB: How’d your date go?

Y/N: That's odd. I don’t see a Genius Bar appt in my calendar…?

BB: iCal is a lying bastard. BB: I also assume you now can move faster through water.

Y/N: ??

BB: Waxed smooth like a dolphin…?

Y/N: 😆 Y/N: Entirely none of your business, but yes, actually. Well mostly. I leave some. Why am I telling you this?! Y/N: The guy was such a dud tho, I didn't get to show it off 🙁

BB: Please don't stop on my account. This is just delightful.  BB: I apologise on behalf of all men.

Y/N: For what?

BB: Having 4 sisters, I find the safest answer here is usually… everything, of course.  BB: But specifically, your rubbish date.

Y/N: Apology conditionally accepted. Y/N: 4 sisters?! 

BB: Only conditional? What do I gots to do to make it unconditional? BB: Yeah, I know… I’ve got 3 brothers too. My parents were really into each other. 

Y/N: IDK, serve a mean martini? Y/N: Understatement.

BB: That could be arranged. I took an online mixology course during lockdown.  BB: My sister El declared I'm better than Stanley Tucci. Admittedly, that was after 4 espresso martinis… but I'm taking it. She's opinionated but the best one. They are a weird bunch tho 🤔

Y/N: WOAH WOAH WOAH. That's a bold claim.

BB: Well, there’s only one way to dispute it: try one for yourself…

Y/N: Smooth, Genius Bar, smooth.

BB: I do my best 🤷

1 day later.

Y/N: I can't get my AirPods to work.

BB: You do realise I didn’t actually follow your career advice?

Y/N: Urgh. Inconvenient. What use are you then?

BB: As I said. Cocktails. I’ll try my hand at waxing if you want.

Y/N: Best stick to the day job. Which is…?

BB: Graphic design.

Y/N: Oh, that’s quite cool. 

BB: It pays the bills. You?

Y/N: MI-5

BB: Wow, you're a shit spy.

Y/N: It could be an excellent double bluff…

BB:

Y/N: Oh, we’ve graduated to memes now, have we, Genius Bar?

BB: It was called for.

Y/N: I’ll take it. Purely cos it's a Hemsworth.

BB: I would too, tbh.

Y/N: Bi?

BB: For a Hemsworth? Always.

Y/N: Anyone else?

BB: I’ll keep you posted.

Y/N: I'm on the edge of my seat.

3 days later.

BB: Oscar Issac.

Y/N: Good non sequitur evening to you, too, Genius Bar Ben.

BB: For the bi thing.

Y/N: Ahh. Got it. I can respect that.

BB: This is me, btw: www.instagram.com/benbridgerdesign.  BB: Figured you can decide for yourself if I'm a creeper.

Y/N: Appreciated.

3 minutes later.

Y/N: You paint?

BB: I dabble

Y/N: Modesty will only make me like you more.

BB: You like me?! 🥹

Y/N: You didn't mention you were handsome.

BB: There is no way to respond to that without me sounding like a twat.

BB: But thank you 😊

Y/N: This is me: www.instagram.com/ynhandle 

7 minutes later.

BB: Oh, Amalfi is so beautiful, isn't it?

Y/N: Wow. That's a deep cut. How far did you scroll back??

BB: 👀

Y/N: Yeah, it's beautiful. Shame it's tainted for me now. Was there with an ex.

BB: I saw. Very handsome.

Y/N: Are you sure you're not just into men full-stop?

BB: 🤷 BB: You’re very pretty, too.

Y/N: I’d believe it if you didn't mention my “very handsome” ex first…

BB: I call it like I see it. BB: I have had 4 whiskeys, tho, so make of that what you will.

Y/N: On a school night?!

BB: It’s my brother Ant's birthday. This is like non-optional drunk, I’ll have you know.

Y/N: Happy birthday to him. 

BB: He says thanks. He’s also told me to get off my fucking phone. Which is rich. He is texting his wife nonstop.

Y/N: Hah! Safe travels through Whiskeytown, BenBridger 🫡

BB: I kinda miss Genius Bar…. 😞

Y/N: I can't win…

2 days later.

BB: Settle an argument for me.

Y/N: 🍿

BB: Col, younger brother, never stops eating... He claims Katz Deli is overrated. I argue it's touristy but still good. You’ve been. Where do you sit on this matter?

Y/N: You really did go thru my Insta, didn't you?? Y/N: Thanks for the follow, BTW.

BB: It's a compliment, I assure you. BB: Welcome. And same.

Y/N: Not complaining. And yeah, I agree with you, actually.

BB: Hah! Excellent!!

Y/N: Wait… your older brother is Ant, and your younger brother is Col? You’re Ben. So, like ABC?

BB:  … I already warned you my family was weird.

Y/N: You did. You did.

BB: Now, please excuse me while I go gloat.

Y/N: 👍

5 mins later.

BB: Hi. This is Col. You must be the famous y/n. Ben’s in the bogs, and the mug left his phone on the table unlocked, so this is on him.  BB: He like really likes you. Like a lot. Will you go on a date with him pls? 

Y/N: Err, ok, hi Col. Y/N: Umm, I think Ben should be the one to ask me that. Don’t you?

BB: He’s too scared you’ll say no.

Y/N: I won't…

BB: EXCELLENT.

2 minutes later.

BB: I am so SO sorry about that 😬 He’s such a shit. BB: But… do you mean it?

Y/N: Ask me properly…

BB: Would you, y/n, like to go on a date with me? Please?

Y/N: I would be delighted to Ben. 😀

BB: 🙏 BB: Are you free on Thursday? Could I take you to dinner?

Y/N: Sounds wonderful. 

BB: 7pm? Meet at Picadilly Circus? By Brasserie Zedel?

Y/N: I’ll be there 😀

BB: 😀

10 days later.

BB: I think you should know… Liz is an artiste 😮‍💨

Y/N: Stop texting me from my bed, you dork. 😘 Y/N: How do you take your coffee?

BB: I'm like 10 meters away. Why not just ask me?

Y/N: You started this, Genius Bar…

BB: Come back to bed, Mostly Hairless Troll.

Y/N: I asked for that, didn't I? 🤦

Benedict taglist, pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies

[rosemarie333]

moon nak women are def the type of people who were told as children “if you’re friends jumped off a cliff would you follow them?” LMAO

i thoroughly believe moon women need to be careful what type of energy they surround themselves with and what they taken on from others energies. due to their yin nature and how the moon absorbs and reflects light off it, not creating light for itself, moon naks can easily absorb the other person and can easily lose their sense of self to attempt to please the other. you want a witch? they’ll be the best witch for you. you want a cook? they’ll pretend to be the best cook. YOU WANT A BONNIE? THEY WILL BE ANOTHER BONNIE lol! like they think they can only want what others want and easily can be manipulated by others when stepping into their own 😭😭. i forget who said moon women play into people’s fantasy’s but that’s such a true statement.

i know it falls under the earth rashis but IDC they are super “malleable” and seems to sway like the ocean, but they will be less like that if they have sun,saturn, or even martian naks in their chart. my advice to moon women, BE CAREFUL WHO U SURROUND YOURSELF WITH! you CAN unknowingly take on peoples energies and habits easier than you may realize. i think when moon women surround themselves only with people who are confident, successful, smart, and capable they will reflect that within their own lives. when i think of an example i think of muni long (idk if she’s lunar) who has said she can’t be around everyone because people’s energies can influence her, that’s what moon women should think like. you can’t and shouldn’t be in every room, only surround yourself with the greatest.

i hope that isn’t another ketu way of sucking off of others energy but if moon women are gonna do it (isnt a bad thing but can get extreme) then DO IT THE RIGHT WAY🤭🤭🤭

#unpopular opinion

[foggymyst]

Welcome To Mystic's Blog!

↳˗ˏˋAbout Mysticˊˎ˗ ↴

I am an eighteen year old female. I've always been into the idea of hypnotist since I believe elementary school, and found it as a kink when I hit 16. So you bet that when I turned 18 I really dove right into it to get to know more about it.

I'm a lesbian dom, simply because I find women attractive and am generally to scared to sub, so that's that. And I really hope to get to meet so many people as I go on.

I'm excited to learn and grow in my skills as a hypnotist and am open to any and all feedback good and bad, so feel free to send asks whenever! I love answering them!

↳˗ˏˋAbout The Blogˊˎ˗ ↴

This blog is an 18 and up blog where I mainly post hypnosis inductions, hypnosis fantasies, and whatever comes to mind regarding the topic of hypnosis.

This blog is made specifically by a lesbian for lesbians, so while most of my relaxant inductions will not use any specific term, all of my lewder/sex focused inductions will be for the female community, which includes anyone who gets that little twinge in their head and heat between their legs when I call them a "good girl". If that's not you, then it isn't for you. That's all there is to it.

No, this isn't an AFAB or CIS Fem only blog, this is for ANYONE who identifies as FEM. What does that mean? If you have a dick, that is not an immediate expulsion, because trust me, I will work on making inductions for trans females! So long as you're fem leaning of any kind, non-binary, trans-fem, cis-fem, you're welcome to stay and enjoy my blog to the fullest.

But that doesn't mean those masc-leaning or presenting aren't allowed to interact with me. As a lot of doms are male these days, it means a lot if those wiser, more experienced hypnotists can give me pointers/advice. And as mentioned, my more subby male friends can simply use my relaxation inductions if they really want.

↳˗ˏˋRulesˊˎ˗ ↴

✮ Don't use my post to add on an induction, I see plenty of doms reblogging with nothing. I'm not a fan, simply because if you want to be a hypnotist, and your blog is so you can be a hypnotist, do not use other people's works to make you seem like a hypnotist

✮ Please don't start doing inductions on subs who dropped to my work, see sometimes on other people's works where they'll post an induction, a sub will drop, and a dom will go and interact with that sub on that post to get them to play with them. It ain't cool.

✮ Please minors/male subs looking for private sessions DNI! This blog isn't for you, so please move on! Thank you!

↳˗ˏˋMy Tagsˊˎ˗ ↴

Figured that as I grow in popularity that I should come up with my own tags so people can find my work easier, so they are as follows:

❥ #mystic inductions: A tag where all my inductions will be collected for easier findings of them

❥ #mystic rambles: Any rambles or fantasies I have without any actual hypnosis being done

❥ #mystic answers: My answering tag for any asks I get that I have answers to!

❥ #mystic reblogs: My reblog tag for any reblogs I post having to do with my asks

❥ #mystic polls: Any polls I post for some reason or another, usually to get an idea of inductions to do

❥ #mystic asks: Anytime I ask my followers a question not in a poll, typically for fun or ideas!

❥ #mystic audios: All my audio inductions or sound clips since I want to get into that more

↳˗ˏˋMy Linksˊˎ˗ ↴

A collection of my links such as to my main blog/my request form and whatever else I make with it!

❀ My main blog: @spacedoutkeys where I post whatever I want at the time, such as hobbies, photography, life updates, and whatever. SFW and very very greenish

❀ My request form: Mystic's Session Requests where you can go and fill out if you want a session with me! You can check in my bio if it's open or not.

❀ My horny blog for all non hypnosis horny: @starymyst where I'll post all my other horny thoughts and keep this strictly hypno horny lol!

❀ My subby blog: @dewwymyst where I post a bunch of subby fantasies to get them out of my head♡

❀ My survey form: Mystic's Induction Survey where you can answer a quick survey that will allow me to improve and guide my blog for more people, while I'll cover everyone's preferences hopefully, the most common answers will be done first as it will apply to a larger section of my audience!

❀ My Throne: Mystic's Wishlist where you can buy me things instead of constantly asking if I charge people because these items would be why I would charge people lol

↳˗ˏˋHonorable Mentionsˊˎ˗ ↴

My favorite personal subs, hypnoblogs, tists, and whatnot, give them a look and check em out!

◬ @captivecamellia , my personal favorite, while I love all my subs, she's just an absolute cutie patootie. I love her "Good girls make more good girls" vibes and she's so easy to drop! Definitely give her a looksey!♡

◬ @kittygaykitty , absolutely adorable. The second I get my hands on kitty everyone will know.

◬ @waddle-d , an absolute cutie. I just love tapping on her brain and watching her go all cute and stupid for me, a true joy whenever I get notifications from her♡

◬ @compliant-fuckpuppet , precious girl. She's just too cute and I love making her all nice and empty like the good girl she is.

[denial-permanente]

Hello Mrs Edge and Tom. I don't have an account here so I'm using my husband's. I am the "ebony goddess wife" of KC. You posted his message here a few weeks ago.

I want to echo what he said about your blog being so helpful to me (to both of us really). When he showed me this chastity stuff I was turned off by just about everything I saw and I really did not want to think about my husband as a sissy or abused or anything like that. I have read a lot of your answers to questions and I love how you have made chastity about your husband's devotion and not just some kinky sex thing. That is where I am hoping to bring our marriage. Also I am guessing it must be Tom who picks out the pictures but it really has been nice to see images of regular looking black women (and Asian, Indian, etc) and not images that look like cartoons. They help me feel more comfortable about seeing myself the way my husband sees me.

I did want to comment about the crazy changes that have been happening to me for the past few years. I go from feeling cold to getting hot flashes that make me want to tear off my clothes and not in a good way. And I don't "feel like myself" anymore. I want to be intimate with my husband but sometimes I can't even stand the thought of having sex.

I go from feeling guilty for keeping him locked to thinking that if I feel this bad then maybe he should too! lol I've read the questions from other women in "no penetration" marriages. I had no idea that this was a thing until recently but now I understand why. The few times I have tried are just uncomfortable and don't really do anything for me for some reason.

Sometimes when I feel like an orgasm would make me feel better I do make him worship my pussy. It also helps to keep him interested which helps make me feel less guilty about leaving him locked up all the time. I also remind him that he asked for this but I have to admit that he rarely complains.

I am happy to see that you still get pleasure from PIV and you still allow your husband to get pleasure from intercourse although I'm not sure how much pleasure he gets if he has to wear a strap on lol. But I am seriously wondering if I will ever feel like having sex again - I mean intercourse - with my husband. If you have any advice on getting through this I think it would be helpful to a lot of us! lol

Thank you for following up on your husband's post. I totally understand what you mean by you "don't feel like yourself." My change came a bit earlier than most, and it was several years of hot flashes, night sweats, cold spells, and crazy appetite swings. Nothing felt right, and I started gaining weight. My doctor says that my metabolism slowed way down, I was tired, and the last thing I wanted was my husband bothering me for intimate time. When you are not comfortable in your own skin it's just so hard to relax and enjoy intimacy.

It really did take several years for me to get past the perimenopause and have things start settling down. Yes, my husband was locked up for most of it, not that he really needed to be because sex just was not on the table (or anywhere else 😆) anyway. I don't want to say that he was "locked and forgotten" but honestly he might as well have been. A few times I did offer that he just unlock the cage and take it off, more out of sympathy or pity or something. To his credit he remained caged on his own.

When I finally started feeling better, we did get back to intercourse and foxing. Fortunately I did not get the vaginal pain that so many women get after menopause. However, things were definitely different. My lubrication was very thin, and I would get sore more easily. We went through different lubes (and now we us organic coconut butter from Trader Joes lol). Oh, and I'm a lot more prone to UTIs. I used to think it was the vixskin, but boiling and disinfecting didn't help. My gyno told me that it was a common condition, and she gave me some antibiotics which I take a dose of whenever we have sex.

Now, if you are not enjoying intercourse and your gyno can't make any suggestions, it's okay. You already keep your husband locked, so he has already learned... or is learning... how to manage his own libido and how to turn his energy into pleasing you instead of worrying about his own orgasm. This is why I tell women who message me that they do not need to feel guilty about this change in your sex life. He asked for this... to be locked and for you to take charge. This is one of those things that happen in life that you have no control over, so all you can do is control how you deal with the situation.

I am learning that there are more "no penetration" marriages than I ever would have guessed, and while a lot of them are done out of some kind of kinky game, some of them, like yours are more because Mother Nature was not kind. If this is the way you are leaning, please remember that your husband wants all the best for you. You can still reward him with your hands or by letting him rub himself on you (he must have a favorite place lol), and then lock him back up. Or you can use a vibrator to help take the pressure off of him. If you have read some of the other women's stories that have written in, some men find the idea of being denied penetration to be a turn on.

Finally, please keep an open mind. You may come out of this once again being able to enjoy intercourse, at least, when you start feeling somewhat normal... or rather, when all these things that are happening start settling down. And there are a lot of resources and articles for you to check online. You may not feel better about it but at least you'll know that you are not alone. Best of luck hon and let me know how you're doing.

[writingquestionsanswered]

hiya! for writers who are complete beginners, kinda sorta maybe write at a high school level, can't describe to save their lives, have overall bad flow (as in they can't decide what little moments scenes to think up and even write, if they do, they're no good), have been told countless times to write daily and just read more but that doesn't cover the basics or foundations of creative writing, not like they can learn from a book bc they're a hands on learner anyway and p.s they're super broke so can't afford writing classes and no library near them offers free ones ---- aka me :( --- do you have any advice? lol i feel kinda doomed and that maybe writing isn't for me, but I don't wanna get my hopes down!! with the right tools, it's possible.

Free Resources for Learning How to Write

I want to start with addressing why you've been told so often "to write daily and read more" as a way to learn how to write. It's very difficult to learn and excel at a craft if you have no experience with said craft. You can read all the information in the world about how to forge a sword, but that doesn't mean you'll be able to pick up a hunk of metal and be able to forge a beautiful sword. You need to spend a lot of time watching other people forge swords, and spend a lot of time actually practicing each step yourself if you want to get good at it. Writing works the same way. Reading lets you experience what fiction should be, writing lets you practice each step for yourself.

Fortunately, there are lots of ways to read fiction for free. You can borrow books from friends, family members, and members of your community. You can check out books and e-books from your local library if you have one. You can look for Little Free Libraries in your neighborhood. There's also a lot of legally free fiction available online. Project Gutenberg, Planet E-Book, Bartleby, Literature.org, Classic Literature, Classic Short Stories, Wattpad, Archive of Our Own, Library of Short Stories, Levar Burton Reads, and sites like Kobo, Amazon, and Audible often offer freebies of both e-books and audio books.

Other free ways to learn how to write:

1 - Follow bloggers and vloggers and authors on social media who talk about the craft of writing. Some of my favorites are: Joanna Penn/The Creative Penn, K.M. Weiland, Liselle Sambury, Abbie Emmons, Hannah Lee Kidder, Brittany Wang, Alyssa Matesic, Bethany Atazadah, Lindsay Puckett, Alexa Donne, Shaelin Writes, Ellen Brock, The Writing Gals, and Sincerely, Vee.

2 - Follow writing craft blogs here on tumblr: (some suggestions) @writingwithcolor, @howtofightwrite, @heywriters, @cripplecharacters, @lgbtqwriting, @fixyourwritinghabits, @wordsnstuff, @yourbookcouldbegayer, @lizard-is-writing

3 - Watch writing craft videos on YouTube: If there's something specific you want to learn about, say, "how to structure a scene," type it into YouTube and many different videos will pop up that walk you through how to structure a scene. Just look for one that strikes you as appealing!

4 - Look for free writing resources online: many authors (especially indie authors and writing gurus/coaches like Joanna Penn, K.M. Weiland, Bethany Atazadeh, Brittany Wang, and Abbie Emmons) offer free writing resources on their web sites or by signing up for their newsletters. Often you'll see writers participating in free online writing summits/workshops which you can sign up for and either watch the videos live or via video playback that is offered for a short period of time (like 24 hours.)

5 - Do a Google Search: believe it or not, there's not a single thing you could want to learn about writing that you can't find for free on Google. If you want to learn how to improve your grammar, go to Google, type in "tips for improving grammar" and you will get a million articles that will tell you how to do just that. Want to learn how to improve your story's flow? Google "how to improve story flow" and you'll have your answer. You can even search for free worksheets, guides, and workbooks on just about anything you want. "Free character development worksheet" brought back a ton of nice looking free worksheets. "Free worldbuilding workbook" brought up several free workbooks and worksheets to help you with worldbuilding. Everything you could want to know is out there.

And, bonus: you can always read through the posts in my WQA master list to get help with a wide variety of craft and writer-related issues.

Happy learning! ♥

••••••••••••••••••••••••���••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[hoshinasblade]

im going to need you all to send me happy thoughts please because i am having a very bad week and it's only monday lol anyway here's some angst. i know i have written a lot of stuff here already but so far this one is my favorite (despite me literally drafting this in my phone so expect some grammar errors or spelling mistakes), so if you can, let me know what you folks think. likes, replies, and reblogs are appreciated but i will bonk you in the head if you repost or copy any of my writings. THANK YOU ANON FOR THIS ASK!

you could bring a numbered kaiju into submission but it seems that your heart is an entirely different monster.

you should have known better than to fall in love with a colleague, and you should have known better than to fall in love with the third division's vice-captain. your own commander, gen narumi, threw you a dirty look when he found out about your intimate relationship with the bowl cut bastard, and as much as you want to come up with a good enough excuse, the best thing you were able to give is a cliched the heart wants what the heart wants. narumi scoffed at you upon hearing it, following it up with a personal vow to never be romantically involved with anyone in the force.

it didn't have to be said but hoshina still did the honors - there's not a lot of ground rules in your relationship but the first one is this: you and he are soldiers first, lovers second. you pondered if it was supposed to hurt you, and you asked yourself what the hell is wrong with you to say yes to such a set-up: all those love advice by your family and friends about how you should not settle with the bare minimum flew out the window. "i have a responsibility to my division. but i also know i love you," was what hoshina told you. in hindsight maybe you did not care about anything else he said except the part where he confessed he loves you.

you convinced yourself that nothing is more important than being loved by hoshina soshiro. and you persuaded yourself that if he could place you second in his priorities, you would be able to do so too. "i mean, i was a defense officer before i became your girlfriend," you agreed with him.

but there's no worse lie than the one we tell ourselves, you realised too late.

hoshina soshiro took you to dates almost every weekend although he is also almost always late. but you guess being one of the highest-ranking official in an anti-kaiju division burdens him with a heavier obligation than the rest of the officers so you did what a good girlfriend would do: you tried to understand his situation and offered him comfort whenever you catch him overly stressed or fatigued in his tasks. "i'll make it up to you," he would promise, and you would kiss him on the lips.

but after a while he stopped asking you out entirely, blaming it to his busy schedule - and yours - and a month after that, you would see hoshina soshiro only when there are inter-division conferences. narumi gives you his ugliest frowns everytime he spots the vice-captain walking towards you. "get a room," the first division commander rolled his eyes at you and your boyfriend one time.

to be fair, hoshina is good at making you disregard his misgivings. may it be with his tongue or his fingers, even for just a fraction of an hour, you cannot deny that hoshina makes you feel loved and taken care of. hoshina would tell you he loves you and nothing else matters again in your world but those three little words.

you could have perfectly proceeded in your charade of being fine if hoshina only remembered your anniversary. the straw that broke the camel's back, disappointment and frustration and heart wrenching pain consumed you when it came clear to you that hoshina was not planning for some surprise for you after not giving you a single greeting throughout the day - he simply forgot.

"so it skipped you that today's supposed to be our day, but you had time to go to lunch with okonogi," you accused him, feeling a bit guilty that you are involving another person in the argument. the trip to tachikawa base was not short, and your muscles are already killing you, but you made the effort to see hoshina in hopes you can salvage the occasion. the guilt died down after several seconds when hoshina replied.

"how is okonogi-chan a part of this?" he defended her. it did not escape you how he seemed to not be answering you at all.

"okonogi-chan?" you mocked hoshina. "jesus, i am so tired of this!" you did not recognise the sound of your voice when you shouted. "i - i know what i signed up for when i compromised with you, soshiro. you said duties first, i just did not expect i would be at the bottom of the things you care about. that's if i was even in that list at all."

"that's not fair -"

"what's not fair," you gritted your teeth, "is that you keep treating me like shit." you held back your tears; you refused to cry in front of hoshina - you had already given him the power to hurt you, it would have been to much handing him the knowledge that what is happening is effectively breaking you from you within. softly, you determined to get the bottom of things - fuck your dignity, the most you can get from this scenario is hoshina's honesty. "do you still love me?"

"you know i do," he declared too quickly. hoshina strode towards you, crossing the three, four feet distance to reach you. grabbing your cold hands and attempting to cradle it with his own warm ones, hoshina looked sincere and sorry, and you regret that you cannot for the life of you remember the last time he was this tender with you.

"actually i don't." you did not know how you're supposed to bridge the sea between you and hoshina as you withdrew your clammy hands from his touch. you chose to ignore the sudden sadness that crossed his face when you stepped away from him.

the loud ring of the alarm announcing a kaiju attack echoed in your ears. "i have to go, we'll talk more later," hoshina offered, his stare at you was surely meant to glue you in your spot but you did not let it so. "i love you."

"no, wait." you are a defense officer, and a good one at that, and you thankfully did not have to remind the third division vice-captain of that. "i'm going with you." even on the verge of heartbreak, your response is to stand beside hoshina. you almost winced at the implication.

you did not wait for his approval. narumi will be pissed, he joked after seeing you in a battle suit, helping you out a bit as you pick your weapon of choice. "hey." his grip on your elbow distracted you. "be careful out there," he whispered.

bodies break in the strangest of ways, you found out while fighting a considerable strong honju alone in the sector where you were assigned. you weren't officially in the area to be on duty, and protocol says you cannot be under hoshina's command so you had to be borrowed as a back-up to another platoon. your tenure and experience could easily place you as a team leader, that is why you were confident to face a number of those monstrous creatures at once. that is until the suit you were wearing - just a spare one that hasn't been used yet by a recruit - overheated.

"retreat to somewhere safe," you heard hoshina in your in-ear comms, out of breath. "that's an order." you wanted to assert that he isn't really your commanding officer, that he is not upon him to command you in any way but air feels like liquid in your lungs, the exhaustion catching up to you. in a minute or two the suit will lose its integrity after overheating, and you will be vulnerable to attacks of even the smallest yojus. "stay there and i'll send someone -"

you hoped you were not making a habit of interrupting hoshina as you mustered your strength to speak in a firm sentence - "the mission, is to neutralise the kaiju, sir." you screwed your eyes shut, ignoring the searing sensation of the wound in your shoulder.

throwing caution in the wind, hoshina did not relent. "i will come get you."

"soldiers first, soshiro." the static in your in-ear comms was deafening after you had called the vice-captain by his given name, and knowing that whatever you say will be broadcasted to the other officers, you continued. "to hell with what happens to us, right?"

you couldn't say you recall what happened next. dizzying darkness claimed you as your suit gave out, your combat release putting your body to too much pressure. when you came to consciousness, it was at a hospital - in a white room too big to cater to only one patient. tubes were attached to you, needles poking at the delicate vein in your wrist. it hurts to move, it hurts to discover you woke up alone.

the hours passed, each tick of the hands of the clock racing against your own thoughts. a nurse found you awake while in a roaming duty, and alerted the doctor. it was not after that when you saw hoshina again.

"how are you feeling?" you could sense his awkwardness from across the room. you saw his hesitation to come close to you; you cannot decided whether to feel satisfied that he seems to be in pain seeing you like this.

"i can't do this anymore, soshiro." your throat was dry from not speaking in ages, and your words sounded hoarse, as if you had to scrape yourself for them. "i almost died, and i can't do this anymore."

a piece of you wanted for him to tell you to shut up.

"i could have died, and you weren't there. and my god, this entire time i had to assess if i am just selfish, or greedy, and i know there are people to save, but soshiro, it's tiring to be the one who loves the other more," you exclaimed. "maybe it's my mistake that i am in a relationship with the third division's vice-captain but i fell in love with hoshina soshiro."

"i'm sorry." you didn't miss the slight tremble in hoshina's voice, and your chest tightened because after everything, he couldn't say you what you needed to hear.

"i would have died trying to save you, you know," you added weakly.

"i'm sorry," he repeated like a chant, like some mantra that would cure everything damaged for you and for him.

"me too," you replied, because there was nothing else left to say.

[thecreelhouse]

tramps like us

Paring: Gator Tillman x fem!reader

This is part of tramps like us, but can be read as a stand-alone (you might be lost with some details but overall it should be fine). I’m making this separate because I know this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, so if you are reading the series, you can skip this if you aren’t interested!!

Summary: You finally bite the bullet on one of your most sought after kinks.

〘 series masterlist ✧.┊this is a sequel to part time soulmate, full time problem ✧.┊listen to the series playlist ✧.┊read on AO3〙

WC: 3.4k+

CW/includes: gunplay/CNC roleplay, dirty talk, teensy bit of hurt/comfort in the beginning, discussing safe sex and boundaries, bdsm elements, dacryphilia, oral (m & f receiving), object insertion 🫣, toys, minor spoiler details for the series (also gator is on the softer side in this series, so if you’re not into that this isn’t the fic for you)

A/N: yes. I know. The wedding chapter should’ve been next, but look, I’m finishing it up finally. This idea came to me for the holiday (I’m a day late don’t @ me), and who am I to turn down an opportunity to slut out? Friendly reminder THIS IS FICTIONAL and though I went the “safer” route in writing gunplay, please do not take this (or any of my fics) as advice for your own sex life lol. Everything in this is between two consenting adults, and I tried my best to research but I know nothing about guns irl lmao. If anything’s inaccurate just look the other way. hope y’all that read this enjoy it <3 (divider cred: @/saradika-graphics)

ch. 10 ✧.┊

sick thoughts - Lou Bliss

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

⋆｡♪ look what you’ve caused / you got ‘em too / sick thoughts ♬ ₊˚.

A few days before Valentine’s Day, you find Gator sitting in the kitchen, enjoying a bagel in the quiet morning hours. As you pour your coffee, you decide to pop the question, one that’s been on your mind for quite some time:

“You think it’s possible to safely fuck a gun?”

Gator sputters and coughs, bagel pieces flying onto the table as he clears his throat. Sipping from your mug, you wait patiently for him to regain composure.

He coughs out, “What the fuck?”

“Well, that’s not the reaction I expected,” you frown, pulling out a chair at the table to sit across from him. “Sorry, it’s just… been on my mind a lot.”

“I thought this was all an ‘in theory’ kinda kink?” Gator gulps down water, eyes misty from coughing so much. Okay. Yeah. Maybe this was a bad time to spring the question.

“Yeah, it is. It was. Kinda. I don’t know. I’m just asking!” You shrug, staring down at your mug. “You know I don’t know a damn thing about guns.”

He sighs with a serious expression, one that’s rare, even for him. “Darlin’, this ain’t somethin’ to mess around with.”

Brows furrowing, you scoff, “Since when do you care about safety? We’ve done knife play already!”

“Since ya’ told me about this to begin with,” he runs a hand down his face, stressed already. “I was gonna teach ya’ some shit last year, remember? And knife play’s dangerous too, but this is beyond that.”

“Yeah, yeah, and the timing was bad, and we never got around to it— so teach me now.”

Gator leans forward on the table, cautiously studying your face. “Why now?”

Embarrassment floods through you, keeping you tight lipped. You shake your head, leaving the table. “Forget it. You’re right.” You flop onto the couch, sighing, feeling ridiculous for even bringing it up.

“No, c’mon. Don’t be like that,” he groans as he follows you, dropping onto the couch, cuddling up against your side. “Somethin’ else is goin’ on.”

“It’s stupid.”

“It ain’t stupid if it’s botherin’ you, that’s what you’re always tellin’ me.” Gator hooks an arm around your waist, nudging you onto his lap. With ease, you settle against him, sighing again. His arms wrap around your waist, holding firmly. “M’gonna hold ya’ hostage here ‘til ya’ tell me what’s up.”

“Everything’s been so… perfect, and I feel off. And I hate that I feel off.” You wind your arms around his shoulders, resting your head on one of them. “There’s always been some kinda pain or traumatic bullshit goin’ on, I got used to it after awhile. But now… I- I don’t know what to do with myself. Nothing is wrong, I have everything I need, everyone I need, but I feel like something’s wrong and I feel so guilty for that. It feels bad, and it shouldn’t. Does that make any sense? ‘Cause it doesn’t make any damn sense to me.”

“We both were raised horribly, so it makes sense that’s kinda all we know… or knew for awhile. It makes sense to me.” He shrugs, trying to reassure you.

Sitting up, you dare to look him in the eye, bottom lip trembling. “Life feels so weird without the constant fight or flight… does that make me a bad person for missing it?”

He doesn’t answer you, only asks, “You’re still doin’ therapy, right?”

You huff, “Yeah. We talk about it. Just not… y’know… The gun play part.”

“Darlin’, a gun play scene ain’t gonna fix it. I know how big the trust is for ya’, but I’m not risking it.” Gator’s fingers dance along your spine in soothing repetitions. “I haven’t handled a gun in over a year, I don’t feel comfortable with this.”

“I know that, but I just… I want to feel something. But what I don’t want is to make you uncomfortable, so let’s forget it, okay? M’sorry for saying anything, I really didn’t mean to pressure you—“

He grabs your chin softly, tilting your face to look at him. 

“We can role play. It’s not the same, but it ain’t lethal, at least. Use a fake training gun, one that feels real, just ain’t functional. We go over the entire scene, what we want and don’t want, and if you’re comfortable with that, then I am, too.”

It might not be exactly what you wanted, but you knew Gator was right. Plus, you were kind of proud he was taking initiative to be safe with a scene; maybe you’ve corrupted him, but at least he’s being smart about it.

“Okay, as long as you’re comfortable, I am, too.” You kiss him softly. “I love you. Thank you.”

“Love you too, Darlin’.”

Everything down to the most minuscule details were discussed between you and Gator; what you wanted, what your hard limits were in a scene like this, choosing the traffic light system over a safeword, the kinds of replica firearms you were both comfortable with, so on.

Turns out, NYC’s gun laws are rigid even with prop guns, too. Gator was very serious, even about this; the replica was not to leave the house, ever. Which, okay, yeah, makes sense. You had no issue with that.

Valentine’s Day had a window of several hours where no one else would be home, out for plans or work, which you figured was perfect timing; though no one could hear you in the apartment, now that the vent’s fixed, you still wanted to play it completely safe.

Honestly, you tried to forget about the plan. Tried to ignore the details of the scene, but all day at work, your mind could only daydream of it. You may or may not have spaced out on a few customers, or dropped more than a few books dreaming of the possibilities of what could happen.

Didn’t help much how soaked you were just from those thoughts alone.

When you finally arrived home, the lights were off throughout the whole house, adding to the thrill. Cautiously, you climbed the stairs to your apartment, fumbling with your keys, hands shaking with excitement.

They slip from your fingers when something pokes the middle of your back, cool and hard. You freeze.

Oh, fuck.

“Go ‘head,” he rasps in your ear from behind, “Pick ‘em up, pretty girl.”

You expected to find Gator on the other side of the door, not out here; that was never decided on, you just assumed, and the surprise had you trembling already.

Slowly, you crouch down, hands grabbing at nothing in the dark. It takes a few tries until the metal jingles against your fingers. You bounce back up, unlocking the door, yet hesitating to open it.

“It’d be a shame if ya’ didn’t invite me in, princess.”

You nod wordlessly, stepping into the dark apartment, feeling the weapon as it prods at your spine while he follows you inside.

“Y- you know, my boyfriend’s gonna be home any minute—“

“Yeah? The former cop?” He breathes down your neck, licking a stripe up to the shell of your ear. “Heard he’s gone soft, bet he won’t do shit.”

You didn’t expect him to get so into this, but you’re loving it.

“Shut up,” you warn, but it comes out in a shaky whisper. Gator pushes the weapon into your back a little further.

“Don’t tell me what to fuckin’ do.” He nudges you towards the staircase. “Go on, show me where your toy box is so we can play.”

Dropping your things by the door, you make the slow journey across the apartment to the stairs, a little too slow for his liking. Gator pushes the muzzle into your back, grunting.

When you reach the loft bedroom, he asks softly, “Color?”

“Green,” you answer without hesitation, nodding eagerly. 

“Strip for me.” Gator flips the light on, casting a dim glow to the bedroom. With trembling hands, you remove your sweater and miniskirt, kicking your shoes off to leave you in the lingerie set he got you for Christmas, and your thigh highs.

When you look up, he’s perched on the edge of the bed in camo pants, combat boots, gun holster and bomber jacket, with a balaclava covering his face. Next to him is the replica gun— jesus, it’s a rifle, and it looks real.

He whistles lowly,  “Gon’ look so good on your knees f’me.” He beckons you over, and though hesitant, you obey. Spreading his legs, he leans down close, running a hand through your hair to tug. “Where’s your toys, princess?”

You glower his way. When you don’t answer, he pulls on your hair harder.

“Ah! T- top drawer!”

Gator releases you roughly, “Stay.” He finds his way over to the drawer, rummaging around for a bit until he settles on a toy. Kneeling behind you, he smacks your ass. “Up, on your knees, keep ‘em spread.” You comply, whimpering as you feel silk bondage rope wind around your thigh, with something attached. Shit. It’s your wand, pressed snugly against your clothed core.

“Look at that… you’re fuckin’ soaked already.”

“Shut up!”

Cuffing your hands behind your back, he mutters, “Wouldn’t do anything stupid if I were you.” He flicks the wand on, immediately jolting your body forward. You catch your balance, whining as you steady yourself on your knees. 

Rounding you, Gator sits back on the bed, unzipping his pants. You bite your lip, hoping to stifle any moans eager to already escape.

He removes a pistol from his holster, smirking wickedly down at you. Gently nudging the muzzle against your lips, he murmurs, “Open.” You obey, feeling the cool, heavy metal breach just past your lips. “Lick.” Dragging your tongue along the barrel, you glance up at Gator, watching his eyes darken through his mask. “Suck.”

At first, you don’t take much in, until he begins to meet the bobbing of your head with several pushes. The barrel lays heavy on your tongue, gagging when he pushes it once more. He pulls it out completely, chuckling as you drool all over yourself, panting and squirming against the vibrator.

“Pathetic slut. You’re close already, huh?”

You shake your head, choking back another moan.

“S’okay to like it,” Gator caresses your cheek, smirking at the tears already building in your eyes. “I won’t tell your boyfriend.”

“Please…”

“Please… what? C’mon, don’t get shy on me now, sweetheart.” He shoves the muzzle into your cheek, rough enough to probably leave an imprint. “You got three seconds to start talkin’, princess.”

You shake your head again, frantic, eyes scrunching shut.

“Three… two… o—“

“Pl- please! I’ll do anything, don’t— don’t—“ A gasp is caught in your throat, and Gator’s about to check in again, but you babble out, “I’ll be good for you! Just let me cum, I’ll be so good, I won’t— I won’t say anything!”

His wicked grin is back, pulling the gun away before sickly praising you, “There she is, there’s the good girl I came to play with.” He grabs your chin, and you wince, a sob falling from your lips as you allow yourself to give into the pleasure.

“I’ll let you cum as much as ya’ want, but m’gonna keep that pretty mouth busy.” His hand winds through your hair, tugging you into his crotch. “Show me how bad ya’ want it.”

You whimper against his bulge, nuzzling as it hardens under his clothes. He pulls his pants down, grabbing the back of your head to shove your face against him again. You lap at the firm length through his briefs, soaking a dark spot next to another he started on his own.

“Guess I’m not the only one who’s wet,” you mutter. Gator grabs you by the hair again, forcing you to look up at him.

“What’d you say?”

“I said you’re wet too, prick.” You’re getting too mouthy, so Gator shoves the gun up to your head. Immediately you break into a sweat with unsteady breathing. “M’sorry, m’sorry!”

Both the gun and his hand fall away, freeing himself from his briefs. His length slaps against his tummy, precum leaking from the tip.

You don’t wait for his instruction, just dive in, licking a broad stripe up his shaft, taking him into your mouth in one fluid motion. You force yourself down as far as your throat allows, throwing Gator off with a shout.

He knows he won’t last long.

“Fuck— fuck—“ He bucks up into your face, shuddering as you gag around him. He begins fucking your face, easily reaching his high when he feels your moans vibrate around his cock, while watching mascara run down your face. His length twitches and pulses on your tongue, release shooting to the back of your throat. “Such a—“ he thrusts “-good-“ thrusts again “-fuckin’-“ and one more time, holding your face against the thatch of curls at his base  “-girl.”

Your orgasm hits, catching you by surprise as you were so distracted while Gator used you. Again, by the crown of your head, he yanks you back by your hair, watching with sick pleasure as you cry out your climax.

“Poor thing’s spent already, what a shame.”

“No, n- no I can keep going, please, I wanna, I need to,” you babble,  unbothered by how much of a disaster you must look like right now.

He looks down between your legs, watching as you drip through your panties, licking his lips. “Up.” His arms hook under your own, lifting you up onto shaky legs. You’re barely on your feet for long before he pushes you into the bed, face first.

Gator’s behind you, grabbing your hips to lift your ass up, giving a hard smack to your backside. Untying your wand from your leg, he pulls your panties down, sliding them off your legs and rounding the bed.

Crouching down next to you, he pets your hair out of your face, gently caressing his fingers against your scalp. 

“You know what to do if ya’ can’t verbally give me your color, right?” His voice matches his tender touch, and you nod. “Can you show me?”

Sliding his hand under yours, still cuffed behind your back, you tap his hand once “Green,” two times, “yellow”, and three times, “red.”

“That’s my girl,” Gator kisses your cheek, leaving you with a soft smile. “Color?”

“Green.” Your dazed demeanor and pleased expression are a contrast to the smeared, tear-stained makeup on your face. He takes the consent to continue, leaving to stand behind you again.

Spreading his hands against your backside, he caresses your soft skin, groping at the plushest parts of your curves.

“Who knew a pretty thing like you’d get turned on when you’re scared…” His breath fans against your core, lapping once through your folds. You jolt with a whine, wrists weakly fighting against your cuffs. “Fuck, that’s good,” he hisses, delving back in while spreading your thighs apart. 

Gagged, you moan into the fabric, tongue catching your own essence.

“Imagine what your man would think, seein’ ya’ like this… just wait ‘til I really ruin ya’.” He slurps lewdly, groaning into your folds as he laps up the slick arousal. “You’re gettin’ married soon, huh? Ain’t gonna be one part of ya’ left that’s innocent when I’m through with ya’.” He slips a finger inside, right as you clench over his words with a high pitched whine. “Shit… you like that? Want me to ruin ya’?”

You hum a pathetic, weepy, “Mhm,” into the gag, nodding against the pillows. You’re floating, and you don’t ever want to come down.

“You need this, don’t you?” Another finger slides in, curling perfectly into that delicious spot that craves attention. “Ain’t enough t’get fucked, gotta be threatened and thrown around a bit…” He pumps his hand harder, tongue flitting out to your clit. Your toes curl and back arches as the bliss builds. 

Again, you agree with a shameful noise.

“Got a surprise for ya’, princess.” Mouth and touch disappearing, you let out a soft sob, wrists pathetically attempting to break free. He grabs your wrists, pinning them to your back roughly. “Stay still, don’t want ya’ gettin’ hurt… yet.”

That familiar sensation of cool metal against your body slips between your folds. It grazes your clit, hips twitching with the desire to roll. 

“Bet you ain’t been fucked with a gun before,” Gator’s voice is low, focused and gravelly as he nestles the barrel against your core, folds puffing out on each side as you drip down onto the weapon. “Bet it’s a real wet dream for ya’… but don’t worry, s’gonna be a reality soon.”

You stay still, painfully stiff while all kinds of desperate little sounds slip out of your gagged mouth. Breaths falling shallow, you feel the barrel slide down to your entrance, muzzle nudging against the hole’s edge.

Gator spits onto your entrance, teasingly inching the gun in; it’s smoother than you expected, easier to take than anticipated, too, with its slim build. It feels like the rifle, and your guess makes you lightheaded.

He pumps it slowly, reaching deeper inside you, observing your expression; you’re gone, maxed out in bliss as your eyes roll back and you tremble around the rifle. 

“I’d kill to see ya’ get spitroasted with a gun on each end…” He mutters, pumping the firearm a little faster. “Look at you… a fuckin’ wreck. Would it make ya’ cum, knowin’ I got my finger on the trigger?”

Crying out into your gag, you do exactly as he had hoped, convulsing around the barrel of the gun as the shock of your orgasm speeds through you. Even in role play, the perilous weight of his words bring you to the edge with ease.

Jesus fucking christ I’m fucked up.

Cursing under his breath, Gator is careful as he cautiously takes the replica out of you, allowing you to collapse onto your stomach as you catch your breath. Through bleary eyes, you watch as he comes closer, eye contact strong and stern as he licks the aftermath off the rifle.

“Fuck, tha’s’hot,” you rasp out. He chuckles, setting it aside while crouching back down to you. When he pulls the mask off, you frown. “We’re done?”

“Think so, Darlin’, you’re pretty spent.” Even Gator’s winded, but more-so emotional than physical. His cheeks are flushed red, lips glistening with your slick. He cradles your face in his hand, “Did so damn good for me.”

“You didn’t finish.” You hate that he went through all this trouble to please you, but he shrugs, smirking.

“I did once, but I didn’t need to, this was ‘bout you.” He stretches over your back, unlocking the cuffs, gently turning you onto your back. He brings your wrists up to his lips, kissing the tender skin. “Just takes more out of me than I expected.”

Your lips turn downward again, “I’m sorry, Gator. I didn’t mean to pressure you into all of this—“

“You kiddin’ me? That was so hot,” he breathily laughs. While stripping the rest of his clothes, he adds, “Just gonna take some gettin’ used to, but I liked it if you did.” He climbs into bed with you, embracing you flush against his figure. “We can play again sometime, if you want.”

“Yeah, s’long as we’re in the right headspace for it.” You nod giddily, but a smidge of shame works its way through your post-orgasm bliss. “You don’t think of me any differently, do you?”

Gator leans back, brows furrowed down at you. “What? Fuck no. Why? ‘Cause you liked this? No way.” Cupping your cheek again, you lean into his palm, warm and comforting. “I told ya’, I like exploring this shit with you, and this was somethin’ I always wanted you to be safe with.”

You kiss his cheek, “Thank you for trying new stuff with me, and keepin’ me safe. Although…” you cringe, “Even though I trust you, m’really glad we stuck to prop guns. I was fucking nuts for even thinkin’ I could handle the real thing.”

He lets out a sigh of relief, “So it didn’t ruin the scene?”

“Nope, felt it was easier to slip into subspace without that extra… stress.”

The two of you continue talking about the scene; the more you practice this part of aftercare, the easier it’s becoming to discuss your likes and dislikes with little to no shame. 

“We should probably clean ourselves up,” Gator groans, not ready to move. “Might have to skip goin’ out tonight.”

“S’okay, we can get one of those cheesy heart shaped pizzas,” you snuggle into his chest. “The place ‘round the corner does ‘em for the holiday.”

He snorts, “Nothing says romance like a pretend break-in and heart shaped pizza for date night.” You pinch his cheek and he swats your hand away. “Ow!”

“C’mon,” you pull him out of bed with you, joking, “let’s go wash the filth and shame away first.”

[blushcoloreddreams]

Perfume IS an essencial: Here’s 4 reasons why

Good Afternoon Dear Reader! Happy Saturday directly from Argentina

Before we dive into today's topic, I wanted to talk briefly about why these "practical" and lighter and style blog posts are JUST as important as the heart-felt blogs on heavier topics and more practical ones like organization, cooking and cleaning tips

This blog is a place where I am trying to gather useful information to help us grow as feminine women, whether that is in our hearts, our homes, our lives, or even in our own skin. I believe in a well-rounded growth perspective: I am trying to improve many areas of my life, even if they are just practical and simple.

So today I wanted to talk about one of these more "practical and simple" topics: perfume.

At first glance this topic can seem kind of boring, like "yeah, no one likes smelling bad, so wear perfume, DUH." But I think perfume is so much more than that!

I believe that a spritz of perfume can actually improve your day, your confidence, and your overall aura as a feminine woman.

***DISCLAIMER: I know that smells can trigger allergic reactions in people, and there are actually fragrance-free zones such as certain churches or work environments. Do not break those rules just to follow my advice LOL!

The women jn my life were always had a passion from perfumery and I remember using it even as a child, but I only started being interested in it during my teenage years and in the past my interest and collection only grew. But I remember that during times of intense sadness in my life, I understand that something simple as even filling in your eyebrows can be a completely exhausting task! So much personal care falls off your daily routine when you can't handle what life is throwing at you and I think that adding perfume to your routine can be an easy way to elevate your grooming.

In order to really stick to this habit, I decided to focus on WHY I should wear perfume. So here we go! This may convince you too.

1. Perfume Adds LUXURY To Life

I know what some of you may be thinking: "I'm just at home, and deodorant is good enough for me!" or "I'm just in an office chair, why do I need to smell amazing?" and finally, "I'm just going to work out later so it doesn't matter!"

You know what I say to all those reasons?

You are an amazing woman and you deserve to have a little extra luxury in your day, even if you are behind a vacuum, a computer, or a treadmill.

Most of us aren't going to be lounging on a velvet chaise with champagne and a cashmere blanket wrapped around us tonight anyways! We're not living that lux life, so why not add extra luxury into our days?

When you're vacuuming the house or reading through spreadsheets, it can be easy to feel like cinderella BEFORE she went to the ball. A fragrance reminds you that you are an elegant, feminine WOMAN, and that you are WORTHY of a little luxury.

So pick up a fragrance you love, (doesn't have to be costly,) and indulge! You are WORTHY of that extra 10 seconds on yourself.

2. Perfume Can Make You HAPPIER!

So today I was spritzing on some body spray when I realized that I had a soft smile on my face. Seriously: I was just smiling to myself! Sol de Janeiro cheirosa 71 (my newest obsession! ) evokes a reaction of pleasure: it makes me smile.

Do you remember learning about the senses in school? They can evoke emotion, thoughts, feelings, and action. Touch can make you take action when you feel pain. Taste evokes pleasure when you encounter delicious food. Likewise, smell can evoke pleasant emotion or distaste.

If there was a little life hack that could have you smiling 2 more times a day than you already do, wouldn't you do it? Fragrance is SUCH simple way to accomplish this!

And a bonus? When you smell good, other people notice! I LOVE when my husband tells me I smell good, or when a friend goes in for a hug and comments that she loves the smell I'm wearing. Smelling good feels GOOD!

3. Perfume Helps You Get in Touch With FEMININITY

When I was a kid, Id watch every morning my mom and grandma get ready and wear their favorite perfumes ( that I have the smell in my memory to this day). I made a promise to myself that when I became a woman at the age of I would begin doing 3 things EVERY DAY: wearing lipstick, carrying a stylish purse, and wearing perfume.

I think I knew, even as a child, that perfume was for women. Full grown, feminine, gracious, beautiful women. Adding fragrance to your routine is a way of stepping into that feminine womanhood and embracing yourself.

Perfume can also be especially helpful for women who are kind of uncomfortable with their femininity. You can begin exploring the possibilities with just a small change. Add a bit of mystery, femininity, sweetness, or glamour to ANY outfit. Elevate your look and tip toe into femininity with a fragrance. Pair a ponytail and sneakers with some vanilla body spray: you might be surprised at how it makes you smile!

4. Perfume Helps You EXPRESS Yourself

I truly believe that the sense of smell is neglected in our modern culture. We are MUCH more focused on the visuals of our beauty routine: hair, fashion, makeup, etc. And why? Well, you can't smell a picture on Instagram! Why invest in something so small when no one can really experience it? Who cares about smell?

Well, maybe we SHOULD care! When you meet someone, you are taking them in through a lot of the senses: a firm handshake, the visuals of their face, the way their voice sounds, and yes, THEIR SMELL!

When you go out into the world, think about the entire picture of you as a person: your smell, your style, your "vibe." What is your overall aura? Perfume can help you add a dimension of creative expression to your overall vibe and style. Express yourself!

***Bonus tip: Hydration is essential for perfume performance and it starts from the inside by drinking enough water and continues with applying lotion before your perfume. (Even better if you can do it post shower when your skin is still a bit damp). Some people also apply a small bit of vaseline or petroleum jelly to your wrists and neck (the pulse regions) before you spray. It helps your scent last longer!

And closing, perfume can add luxury to our day, help us feel happy, help us get in touch with femininity, and allow us to express ourselves! What's not to love?

xoxo

Júlia

[rosenkranz-isnt-dead]

To be honest, it’s Saturday, which means it’s time for an All Things essay.

This episode is usually overlooked and only discussed with regards to the off-screen consummation of Mulder and Scully’s relationship. When people do talk about it, they add the obligatory “well it’s not perfect, but-” which is ironic, considering that “perfect” x files episodes are a rarity as it is. It’s certainly an unusual episode, in the sense that there is no x file, Scully is not tortured, and Mulder isn’t compared to Jesus. But let’s dive a little deeper.

First of all, Scully centric episodes (especially ones that don't involve any of the following: 1) christianity 2) punishment for experiencing desire 3) grief 4) violation of her body) are incredibly rare. Scully, for once, is not robbed off her agency, and neither is she tied to Mulder. Here, she is not simply one half of the iconic skeptic/believer duo, she is her own person, free to make her own choices, free to say no. And, unlike in Never Again, her refusal doesn’t cause a scene (I’ve talked about my issues with Never Again here). 

When I was doing my research for Aletheia, I did some reading on the heart chakra. First of all, it doesn’t look like this

but rather like this

But, as Mulder said, the crop circle images were computer generated, so I’m choosing to interpret this as a commentary on AI fuckery lol. But other than an incorrect depiction of it, the rest pretty much checks out: this chakra allows you to love yourself, to develop your capacity to love others and to receive their love. We know this is something Scully struggled with. “I’ve never allowed myself to get too close to people. I’ve avoided emotional attachment,” she says in Christmas Carol. In En Ami, cancer man says something along the lines of “you would die for Mulder, but won’t let yourself love him”. Which is bullshit, of course, like everything in that episode, but I do think Gillian took that into account while writing All Things.  Apparently, an open heart chakra helps restore balance to the body and mind, and allows you to feel relaxed, connected and safe. I’d say this is an accurate description of Scully at the end of the episode. Also, the anahata chakra is associated with the color green, and we all remember Scully’s famous green sweater. I’ve seen posts making fun of Scully’s turn to Buddhism, but is this really more ridiculous than her being catholic, or were you just taught that one is better and more true than the other?

I also appreciate Gillian making references to some of the previous episodes. Her opening lines sound almost like Melissa’s in Christmas Carol:

And "forks in the road" sounds like a nod to Mulder and Scully’s conversation in Monday:

I think it's a nice touch, Scully finally being able to see things from her loved ones' perspective.

Now, let’s discuss something that the x files usually shies away from: queer themes. In All Things, we’re introduced to the first (and, if I’m not mistaken, the last) lesbian character on the show: Coleen. Well, and her girlfriend Carol.

Seeing Scully talk to and heed advice of a woman who isn’t related to her (though even that option was reduced to only her mother early on) is very refreshing. Scully, who at first dismissed Coleen as a New Age weirdo, comes to recognize herself in this woman and feel kinship with her. She feels much more comfortable in Coleen's presence than in the presence of Daniel, who still sees her as a lovestruck twenty-something. This episode is about Scully trying to find herself. Does she really want to spend her weekends, her life, in a basement with Mr Spooky? Wouldn’t she feel more secure working as a doctor, with a man like Daniel by her side? “I want everything I should want at this time in my life,” she tells Daniel. It’s a strange turn of phrase, which sounds like “I try to conform to societal expectations.” Now let’s get back to Coleen, who suppressed her whole identity so much that she became ill. This woman who Scully just met makes her feel seen, which I’m sure is a deliberate parallel with another crop circle-obsessed weirdo who saw right through her on their first meeting, especially considering this scene from the original script:

A lot has been said about the subversion of gender roles on the x files, but I’ll add my two cents too. In the hospital, Scully is forced into this stereotypically feminine role of a homewrecker. The two worlds – before and after she joined the FBI – collide. There are two choices: to continue being a deviant, being in a relationship that isn’t very conventional by societal standards, or to quit and become a doctor, while carrying guilt for something that wasn’t fully her fault. 

The resolution is beautiful, despite the silly montage. Just like Scully’s strict rationality saved Mulder, his crop circle mission saved Scully. Well, and Daniel, I suppose. And while I still have my queer goggles on, this (unfortunately cut) scene reads as Scully coming out:  

Remember Coleen, who was only able to heal once she stopped caring what her colleagues would think about her relationship with Carol? Pair this with Scully chasing that mysterious woman who turns out to be Mulder, and you have canon confirmation of Mulder and Scully being a lesbian couple.

Their conversation at the end feels like another nod to Monday:

This brings me back to Never Again: Scully rebelling against Mulder yet returning to him, feeling like she doesn't have a choice. Here, she chooses him. She's presented with a different path, and not only does she reject it, she dismisses it as "wrong". Never Again is about trauma, All Things is about healing.

It's an excellent episode in an otherwise pretty bleak season, with good pacing and beautiful visuals. The soundtrack works well too, props to Gillian Anderson for having a great taste in music. Weaving her favorite song into the story is a bold choice and I respect it, 10/10.

[protectingtulpas]

Considering getting into tulpamancy, any advice you think doesn't get mentioned nearly as much as it should?

Hmmm this is a good question, stuff that isn't talked about a lot.... I can think of a few things, actually!

Here's some certified random tulpamancy advice from my own wisdom lmao

🔥 parrotnoia is almost completely counterable (especially for our "logical" brain) by asking your tulpa a follow-up to whatever response they gave. if they respond with anything near legible and sensible then you should treat it like it's a real response, even if you're not sure! You'll build up an understanding of what's your thoughts and what're your tulpa's eventually, and once you do, you'll be able to trust that second response. Sometimes I even have a problem with this from my side so like it's not just a host thing fr. If your brain just repeats the same or a similar thing over and over again though, it's probably just a repeating thought. We get those a lot cus of our adhd. (host wants me to say that if your tulpa is comfy with it and solid enough, you can ask them to reassure u that they're real. we do that a lot when they get paranoid)

🔥 self awareness isn't a lightswitch. There'll probably be a wide ocean between your tulpa's first signs of acting independently and them feeling like a fully solid person that's just as aware as you are. I was literally choosing where to move in wonderland within a day of starting forcing (i had an advantage cuz host had a form and wonderland ready for me lol, but some ppl like to go slower!) but it was months before it finally hit my host that the things I were saying by then was undeniably *me*. For them to realize, it actually took me diverging from their expectation by saying i wasn't too interested in hollow knight lmao. basically what I'm saying is there's a lot of in between so don't stress over black and white outcomes and such

🔥 It's way easier to start with partial possession first before learning how to fully switch. First time I used the body was just using the voice to sing and it was awesome, it's what a lot of newbies do to learn now

🔥 oh yeah if you're musically minded then MAKE A PLAYLIST FOR UR TULPA it'll help sooo much. Either start out with what you think they'll like and then let them curate it and add stuff later on, or turn it into a forcing exercise where you listen to different songs and try to feel if your tulpa is enjoying it or not, and add it to the playlist if it seems like they are! (If you're the kinda person that struggles with active forcing, putting on some appropriate bg music might help! keeps ur brain occupied and buzzing)

🔥 Unless they end up the same exact gender as you and a similar presentation, your tulpa is probably gonna have at least a bit of wonky gender feelings, and that's ok. they may end up being genderqueer in some way & they might not! It's their choice what label to use for themselves, not yours as the host.

🔥 Be prepared to split your budget at least a little bit if your tulpa ends up enjoying outerworld stuff a lot. Casey (a soulbond) and I like different types of fashion a ton, I like thrill rides and going to clubs and shows. We don't have a lot but we work it out so at least our most frequent fronters get to indulge a little sometimes - it's great if you can find something multiple ppl like

🔥 Your tulpa's sense of... mmm, let's say wisdom? Will be a bit different from yours. We're in a weird position - we're in a brain that's lived a whole biological life up to that point, with lots of experiences and instinctive patterns and understandings and shit built into us, cus that's just how the brain works. We also can look at the host's memories whenever we want, barring any outside issues. But at the same time we're also straight up *new,* thrown into the world without most of a childhood to grow up in (usually) or an entire life to build up a sense of self and figure ourselves out. We can see host's memories but they're not Ours, we didn't experience em. Y'know how teenagers are kinda weird and flip-floppy sometimes because they're still figuring themselves out? A lot of tulpas can be the same way, especially when we're new. They might go back and forth on basic opinions, struggle to understand topics you get already, sorta just miss things sometimes, or become super singleminded when they find something that gives them a sense of self. Basically just give your tulpa a wide range of things to do/try, and understand that we're pretty much speedrunning all the emotional + logical development that most hosts had their whole lives to work on.

✨ If anyone else has any other ideas go ahead and reblog + add stuff!!! ✨